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Rediscovering New Testament Christian Womenhood Series #3
All the Christian women and mothers who throughout all ages, even today, have done right in the sight of God according to His Word, no matter what the women of the world did or are doing.
Chapter 1 - Introduction
In 1870, thirteen percent of the women of America worked outside the home. Almost without exception, these were single women working in one of two fields, secretarial or nursing. By 1970, forty percent of the women of America worked outside their homes. By 1991, it was sixty-nine percent, and in 1994, it was about seventy-one percent. They are no longer single women, but married women and mothers who have children and teenagers at home.
We have all heard these statistics till we have become immune to them—highest divorce rate of any free country in the world; 1.5 million abortions a year; only fifty percent of our children growing up in a nuclear family; teen pregnancies; crime, murder, suicide, and all types of abuses are on the rise and the list goes on and on. It does not take a rocket scientist to conclude that there is something very wrong with our society.
The blame can rightfully be placed in many directions. Included in these would be the devaluing of motherhood in America. If you are a mother, that is a full-time career and ministry, never stoop to become the President of the United States. Do not forsake motherhood for money. Do not miss motherhood for a career.
Please carefully read and ponder this booklet. Be familiar with what the scriptures teach addressing the subject, “Should A Christian Mother Work Outside The Home?”
Chapter 2 - What Saith the Scriptures?
It has been sadly said of our generation of Christians that we get our beliefs from the Bible, but our behavior from the world. This observation is certainly true of much that goes on regarding womanhood and motherhood in the church today. Grossly missing from the average woman's life is a Biblical reason and Scriptural premise for what she is doing.
The Bible is our handbook for life! 2 Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine (teaching), for reproof (exposition), for correction (changing us when we are wrong), for instruction in righteousness (instructing us how to live)..." Why? The next verse, verse 17 answers: "That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works."
Before you read any further, you must then ask yourself the question, "Do I want to be perfect?" and "Do I want to be right with God?" If your answer is yes, then read on, for the Scriptures are not silent about this issue, and one of the reasons the Scriptures were written are for correction.
Now dear reader, if you are like me, correction is hard to take. The reason is because of the sin of pride. Yes, pride is sin. If we are humble, correction is not hard to take. We must be humble to be all God wants us to be. Pride keeps us from admitting we're wrong and from changing. If we are kept from changing we'll never be "perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works."
What saith the Scriptures? My opinion doesn't matter, neither does yours. It doesn't matter one iota to God if 71% of the women of America are working outside the home, God is not on the majority's side, but on the side of righteousness. If 99% of the women of America worked outside the home, God wouldn't change His Word one jot or tittle.
Women working is not a big problem with me. It's women who are mothers working outside the home that this booklet deals with, because there I draw the line, for the Bible's clear on this matter.
We live in a day when we use the New Testament to establish our doctrine, faith, practice, and behavior. Contained in the New Testament are two doctrinal passages on the roles of mothers. It is interesting to note that they are in the book of 1 Timothy and Titus, which are 2 of the 3 Pastoral letters. By Pastoral we mean they were written by the Missionary and Apostle Paul to two men named Timothy and Titus, who were Pastors. It was instructions to them on what to teach their people regarding behavior. Even the subjects of womanhood and motherhood came up.
First, 1 Timothy 5:14 says, "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully."
Note in this text there are 4 requirements stated:
1. Get married
2. Have children
3. Guide the house
4. Live a perfect testimony so not once can the adversary (Satan) say anything reproachful about you.
Now notice number 3 says, "guide the house." Does that mean that the house is going somewhere and you have to guide it? No, a house is an unmovable structure. That's the point. A mother is to stay at the house and guide it.
The word guide here comes from a Greek word that means to "rule". Thus a woman is to get married, have children, and rule the house. Now if you are thinking, you are probably saying to yourself, "I thought my husband was to rule the house?" That is just the point. Your husband is not there, he's out working while you are ruling in his place! Mothers you are to "guide (rule) the house", It is your Scriptural duty.
Second, Titus 2:4-5 says, "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed."
Note in this text there are 8 requirements stated "that the Word of God be not blasphemed":
1. Be sober (intelligent)
2. Love your husband
3. Love your children
4. Be discreet (modest)
5. Be chaste (pure)
6. Keepers at home
8. Obedient to your husband
Certainly no Christian mother would purposely want to blaspheme the Word of God. I fear today, however, that many are doing it ignorantly. Jesus said once,"Ye do err, not knowing the Scripture."Not doing things Scripturally is error. Often destructive in nature. (Notice Matthew 7:26-27 "And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.")
Notice in this list that number 6 says, "Keepers at home." The Greek word for keepers is oikouros which means a "stayer at home." It is a word with a militant meaning. When guards watched the city they were considered "keepers." They kept (guarded) the city while others slept. A Christian mother then is to stay at home and keep it, (guard it).
In our first text we learned that she is to guide the home, here she is to guard the home. It's quite simple and quite clear. If she does not guide the home she just may give occasion to the adversary (Satan) to speak reproachfully. If she does not guard the home she occasions the blasphemy of God's Word.
Mothers, when a wife works, although he might never admit it, a part of her husband's God-given manhood dies. God has put it in man, what some call instinct, the desire to provide for his family. When he fails, even in part to do this, he feels unfulfilled. He may even become resentful and bitter against his wife. He may even feel that his ability to lead is greatly diminished. Many marital problems may then follow.
On the other hand, some men are not bothered by their wives working outside the home. Perhaps they have a manhood problem. They would rather pass responsibility off on some one else. They marry a woman, not to be their wife, but to be a mother. They don't want to grow up, they want mom to care for them their whole life, so they marry a wife who will do that. The wife ends up caring for a big baby all her life. I feel so sorry for ladies who are stuck in that situation and spend their energy always bailing out their husband. As long as you keep bailing him out, he'll let you. Don't bail him out anymore. Make him be a man. You're not his mother.
I also fear that the devil has conquered so many children from "Christian" homes, because mom left her station and
they had neither guide nor guard to watch over them. Our adversary, the devil, like a roaring lion walketh about seeking whom he may devour. He wants your children.
Stand guard dear moms! Stay home! The Bible commands it and your children need it. Even psychologically we know that if children are in school or away they benefit by knowing mom is home for them.
Now think about this dear ladies, what was the first mistake that a woman ever made? Answer: She went to the workplace.
In Genesis 2:8-9 "And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.", and Genesis 2:15-17 "And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."
Notice in this text that God established a workplace for the man and put him in it. He gave him instructions to take care of the workplace, the Garden of Eden, "for there was not a man to till the ground." Genesis 2:5. Inside of the workplace was every kind of tree including the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That tree was in the very middle of the workplace (Genesis 2:9,3:3). It was there that Eve was tempted by the subtil one and was deceived. She sinned, brought down her husband and the whole human race by going to the workplace God had made for man.
The workplace is no place for a Christian woman. It is too hard to be spiritual there. It will wear you down. The woman is the weaker vessel, I Peter 3:7 "... giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel...", both physically and emotionally. That day in the workplace, Satan didn't go after Adam; he went after Eve, "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." 1 Timothy 2:14.
A spiritually-minded Christian mother needs to be within the safety of her home, and the church, constantly doing spiritual things. It is God's plan and refuge for her. "Dinah ...went out to see the daughters of the land and when Shechem ...saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her." Genesis 34:1-2.
Think of it, Dinah had a godly father, Jacob, and 12 older brothers. 13 men in her own family to watch over her and she still got raped. Why? She decided to leave home and go out and see what the women of the world of her day were doing.
Stay out of the world!
It's with a broken heart I write as I think of pure, holy girls that I've known in the three churches I've attended since being saved, who were allowed to go out and get a job, started dating unbelievers, got married to them or got pregnant. Mostly ignorant fathers are to blame. The Bible gives the father authority over the daughter until he decides to give her away. (See 1 Corinthians 7:37,38). He is not suppose to give her away to the workplace, but to her new husband. Until then he is to provide for her as one of his own. "But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8. It is my intention, by God's grace, to allow my daughters to live with me as long as it is until I give them away to their husbands that I approve of. Even if they're in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, etc.
Naomi left Bethlehem (house of bread) to sojourn (pass through) through Moab (the land of scarcity). She ended up staying there for ten years. During that time she lost her husband and her two sons, they died. When she came back to Bethlehem, she said, "Call me not Naomi (pleasant), call me Mara (bitter): for the Almighty hath dealt bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the Lord hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?" Ruth 1:20,21. Naomi should have stayed home. Notice that God "testified against me"- it was wrong what she did in leaving home, and "afflicted me"- God chastened Naomi. God brought Naomi home!
Is something wrong right now with your health? Family? Marriage? Finances? Circumstances? It may be the chastening hand of God on your life. If that is not true, then cut the story of Naomi out of your Bible.
Consider the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42. Martha chose to work. Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear His words. Mary chose the "needful" and "good" part "which shall not be taken away from her". Make the right choice moms!
Christian mothers, what kind of story will be written about you? Obey His Word. Be blessed by Him. Guard and guide your home. Stay there, don't leave your post.
Chapter 3 - When Might A Christian Mother Work Outside the Home?
As I begin to write this chapter in light of what has already been said, I feel like the Apostle Paul when he said to the church at Corinth in 1 Corinthians 7:12, "But to the rest speak I, not the Lord ..."
Some things are judgement calls. Paul again said in 1 Corinthians 7:25, "... I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgement as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful." and in 1 Corinthians 7:40 "... after my judgement: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God." also in Romans 14:5 "Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind."
Please do not take my thoughts in this chapter as gospel. They are judgements I have made based on common sense and I think I have the Spirit of God. Only daily communion with the Holy Ghost can lead you for sure.
Let me give you exceptions for a Christian mother to work in the work place that I would permit, and I think more important God would allow, (Ask Him to be sure though):
1. Death, your husband has died. You are a widow. You were not left enough money to exist on through life insurance and the sale of equities. Families (relatives) should pitch in to help widows first. If she qualifies, the church should help her although the guidelines are clear in the Bible as to what the church is obligated to do. (see 1 Timothy 5:3-5;9-10)
God has many miracles for widows and He should be entreated through prayers, supplications and fastings before getting a job. He has some miracles in store for widows.
Many promises can be held up to God by the widow:
Deuteronomy 10:18 "He doth execute the judgment of the fatherless and widow, and loveth the stranger, in giving him food and raiment."
Psalms 10:14 "... thou art the helper of the fatherless."
Psalms 68:5 "A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation."
Psalms 146:9 "... he relieveth the fatherless and widow: ... ."
Proverbs 15:25 "The LORD will destroy the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow."
Jeremiah 49:11 "Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in me."
God should always be consulted first in these matters.
2. Divorce, your ex-husband doesn't support you. Maybe you were divorced before you were saved or maybe he is an unbeliever and left you. I have even heard of one case where a "Christian" man left his wife and children and doesn't support her, although I question his salvation.
Divorce doesn't leave one with life insurance money and alimony has many loopholes in it. Many dead beat fathers filled with resentment, bitterness, or unforgiveness refuse to pay up. This causes a tremendous hardship on the Christian mother. If she does have to go to work she should have some unchangeable prerequisites:
She will not work on Sundays.
She will not work on Wednesday night.
She will have herself and her children inside the church every time the doors are open.
Children, if baby-sat, will be in the care of other Christians.
Work only enough to make ends meet.
Maintain consistent family devotions and prayer with the kids and with yourself.
If these prerequisites can not be guaranteed, then accept that it is not God's will for you to work there. Continue to pray for your ex-husband to be saved and to see his Biblical responsibility of supporting you as stated in 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." God answers prayer, don't quit praying.
3. Disability, your husband is disabled and can't work. In some cases he will have disability insurance and the husband and wife will be able to live on that. She may need to get a part-time job. If he had no disability insurance she may have to work to support the family in his absence from the work place till he gets well, if he gets well.
4. Desolate, she is a single mother with neither husband nor father to care for her. Many single mothers who end up being saved are left to live with the consequences of their life-style before salvation. They are now Christian mothers but were never married. In often extreme hardship she will have to work to make ends meet with no man to help her. This is never easy and behooves the church to rear young girls to be pure.
5. Demanded, a Christian mother has an unsaved husband who demands her to work. She must obey her unsaved husband: Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Ephesians 5:24 "... so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." See also 1 Peter 3:1-7. Certainly no Christian man should require his wife to work contrary to the Word of God.
Now, notice in my judgements I said nothing about needing more money as a reason for a Christian mother to leave the home and enter the workplace. It would be better to lower your standard of living than to disobey God, or sell what you possibly can to make ends meet. Notice II Kings 4:7 "Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, Go, sell the oil, and pay thy debt, and live thou and thy children of the rest." and, Luke 12:33 "Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth."
If a husband's income is not enough to exist on for a family, then one of two things must be accepted:
1. God is wrong. When the Lord wrote "But if any provide not for HIS own, and specially for those of HIS own house, HE hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." in 1 Timothy 5:8, He didn't mean it. If God is right, and He always is, then a man CAN provide for his family adequately.
2. Your standard of living is too high. Keeping up with the Jones' is your standard, not the Bible. You may have to do something drastic to get right with God: Sell your home and get a less expensive one, drive an old car instead of a new one, wear less expensive clothes, quit eating out, quit going shopping, etc.
It is the devil who says today, "You can't make it on one income today!", and the devil is a liar and the father of all lies. Don't believe him, believe God and act like it.
I marvel at my grandmothers. The one is 95 years old. The other is 83. My 95 year old grandmother reared 13 children and never worked outside the home. My 83 year old grandmother reared 6 children and many foster children and never worked outside the home. They never demanded their rights. They never insisted on having a deck, new kitchen, carpet, furniture, pool, two cars, nice home, camper, fancy clothes, makeup, shoes, and all this other empty trash that so many women think will bring them happiness today. No, they weren't covetous, they were content.
They weren't proud either. They didn't go through life thinking they "deserved" better than just to be a mother and wife. They, having lived fulfilling lives, have children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren who think they are the greatest. Yet they did all this, not living in the prosperity of the 90's, but through the Great Depression and the War.
Why are we so proud today that we just can't confess that we are covetous and repent of it? Moms, let's turn our hearts away from things, money and our standard of living and back to those immortal souls that we call our children.
Chapter 4 - What's a Christian Mother To Do All Day?
Let's say that you are a Christian mother. For some reason your children are not home. They are sent to school. You are home alone, what next? Stare at the walls? Right about now comes the temptation to go out and get a job, but there are so many higher and nobler causes that a woman can pursue than to get a job and serve money.
Here are 42 things a mother can do at home. Can you think of more?
1. Read the Bible for one hour a day. Do you read the Bible everyday now? At this rate you can read through the Bible two to three times a year. Mary "sat at Jesus' feet, and heard His Word." Luke 10:39
2. Pray for at least one hour in private to God. Do you pray everyday now? See your Pastor for church prayer lists, names of members, etc. Peter and John went up to the Temple for "the hour of prayer." in Acts 3:1. Anna, the prophetess , "served God with fastings and prayers night and day." in Luke 2:37b. Jesus asked, "What, could ye not watch with me one hour?" in Matthew 26:40. David said, "Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice." in Psalm 55:17. Daniel "kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God..." in Daniel 6:10. Ladies, while you are praying everyday, beg God to bless your working husband, to provide your finances, to give you miracles of provision, to meet all your needs. You will be amazed at what God will do. Some promises to use when you pray:
Jeremiah. 33:3 "Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not."
Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Philippians 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
Psalms 37:25 "I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread."
3. Fasting one day a week. Do you fast often? Jesus said, "When ye fast..." in Matthew 6:16, not "If ye fast...." Anna "served God with fastings ..." in Luke 2:37b. "Defraud ye not one the other (from sexual relationships), except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (lack of self control)" 1 Corinthians 7:5.
4. Memorize Scriptures. Do you memorize Scriptures now? "Thy Word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Psalms 119:11. Entire chapters could be memorized and prove beneficial to all aspects of your Christian life if you'll do a little each day.
5. Go out soulwinning one or two times a week with a partner for three hours at a time. Do you go out soulwinning now? "And many of the Samaritans of that city believed on Him for the saying of the woman ..." John 4:39. It is feasible that God could use you to reach a hundred souls in one year. Remember: One soul is worth more than all the money you could earn in the world. (Mark 8:36; Job 27:8).
6. Meet at church with other ladies once a week for prayer meeting. Do you attend prayer meeting right now? "These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, WITH THE WOMEN.." Acts 1:14.
7. Prepare creative and exciting devotions for your children. Do you have devotions with your children daily? "When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also" 2 Timothy 1:5. "And that from a child thou hast known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus." 2 Timothy 3:15.
8. Serve in a ministry in the local church or several ministries. Do you serve in a ministry right now? Use time during your day to prepare so that when your ministering time comes it will be your best for Jesus. "... whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31.
9. Homeschool your children. Do you homeschool? The rearing of children is the foremost job of a mother. "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house..." I Timothy 5:14. Women are to be the guides of the house. It is quite clear in the Word. It has been our experience, after eight years of homeschooling that God knows best. It is the only way to fulfill the directive of Deuteronomy 6:5-7, "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."
I am convinced that any mother who spends 20 to 40 hours a week out in the work place could use that same energy and teach her children at home successfully at about 1/8 of the cost of Christian School tuition ($240 per child per year for us for quality school curriculum). It would be a cost of about $5.00 per week per child to take the child out of the public school, plus the mother relearns all the subjects as her child learns at his or her own pace. "To teach is to learn twice." It has also been my experience as a Pastor that a child's peers are the worst group for your children to be around all the time. Your children will invariably want to live and act and dress like them and you as parents will no longer be the greatest influence in their lives. Think about it. You can homeschool if you try.
10. Read a good Christian book. Do you read good Christian books? The older Christian authors are better than modern books. Reading books for education in the things of the Lord is more important than reading books just for entertainment. All book reading should be after the reading and studying of the Word of God.
11. Minister to Senior Citizens and Shut-Ins. Do you minister to the elderly or handicapped? "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." James 1:27. Can you help clean houses, mow grass, rake yards, wash windows, cook dinners? These things are important to God. Psalms 68:5 "A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation."
12. Take a nap. Be refreshed physically so you can give your energy to your Lord, husband, and children. These are the priorities of a Christian mother. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take care of your body which is the Temple of the Holy Ghost. Take a nap! Get some rest!
13. Prepare yourself and the house for your husband's return each day as though a king were returning, and the children were princes and princesses.
14. Learn how to type.
15. Learn how to work with computers. Develop and update basic skills of a trade to prepare yourself in case you have to work in the event your husband dies or is disabled.
16. Learn a musical instrument. You'd be amazed at what you could do if you put your mind to it. Most of our abilities or talents have yet to be discovered because we are too busy to discover them.
17. Learn to crochet, sew, do crafts, paint, make dresses, etc.
18. Write letters to missionaries. Currently these lonely people receive almost no correspondence from our church except the check we send them each month. Your letter telling them about our church and what the Lord is doing in your life will bless their hearts. Your encouragement might be the tool God uses to keep them from quitting and cause them to stay on the field.
19. Write to people in the community inviting them to church.
20. Write to prisoners. Especially lady prisoners.
21. Write to soldiers.
22. Write letters, postcards of encouragement to those who are down.
23. Write letters, postcards to those who are up, so they'll stay up.
24. Visit the sick in hospitals.
25. Visit the nursing home.
26. Help baby-sit a few hours to give someone a break.
27. Help a new mother with her baby.
28. Exercise every other day. Get in shape.
29. Work in the church printing ministry once it's started. Much manual labor will be needed.
30. Work in the church mail distribution ministry once it's started. Millions of tracts will be sent to waiting sinners because of you. You'll meet hundreds in Heaven who will be saved because of you.
31. Set your house in order. Your finances, bills, etc. Be sure to have a written budget. It will bring peace to your home knowing how much you have, need to put in the bank, can spend, etc. With your finances in order you'll be able to have peace rather than confusion about your money. Also you'll be able to budget money for life insurance so if your husband dies you still won't have to work.
32. Clean: laundry, house, yard, car, dishes, etc. Christians should be good testimonies by cleanliness.
33. Plant a garden and flower beds.
34. Teach your children everything you are doing. The Lord is the priority of all Christian women. The husband is the priority of all Christian wives. The children are the priority of all Christian mothers, they are not a "big bother", they are a priority. Give yourself to your children. Teach them everything you are doing. Prepare them for life.
35. Start a home-based business that the children can be involved in. If you can cut hair, teach them how. If you can do crafts, teach them how. If you can pound nails, teach them how. If you can make clothes, teach them how.
36. Continue to learn more about cooking, canning, baking, etc. Never stop learning.
37. Write letters to your relatives near and far away explaining what the Lord has done for you.
38. Send cards for Birthdays, Anniversaries, Graduations to your relatives. Always enclose a carefully chosen gospel tract to sow the seed.
39. Write letters to your President, Senator, and Representative in Washington, D.C. regarding current issues that affect morality and Christianity. Keep letters brief and to the point. Express your views strongly but do not be nasty or condemning. Make phone calls to switchboards.
40. Write letters to your Governor, State Senator and State Assemblymen in Albany. Make phone calls to switchboards. Stay -at-home-moms could be one of the greatest political forces in our country in shaping political opinion if they all did this.
41. Write letters to your county executive, legislator regarding current issues. Make phone calls to switchboards.
42. Write local newspapers that run editorial letters and promote some good Christian cause or oppose sin. Write intelligently and they will print your letter.
Chapter 5 - How About a Homebased Business?
What kind of an example are we setting for the next generation of girls growing up? Is it that money making is more important than motherhood? God forbid! Your daughters will be just like you. Ezekiel 16:44, "Behold, everyone that useth proverbs shall use this proverb against thee, saying, As is the mother, so is her daughter."
I want to encourage you to get a firm grip on your financial picture as a family. Here are some suggestions:
1. Have a written budget that is updated at least once a year. Whenever I have worked out a budget for someone, I have proven to them, without exception, that they can make it on the net salary of the husband of the house and they didn't need to both work.
If you will get your finances in order it will bring peace to your household. Financial strain is the number one cause of divorce, separation, and marital misery, and it doesn't have to be. God is a God of order, perfect order. And we should be like the Lord. Get your finances in order. Have a budget.
When a couple doesn't have a written budget, they do not know what they have and what they need. When they begin to think they don't have enough, the first thought in their mind is often, "Mom's gonna have to work." NO! Work out a budget on paper. Stick to it. You'd be surprised!
2. Give God His tithe. The tithe is ten percent of one's income. Upon the first day of the week lay that up in store to God. Stop reading my book right now and get out your Bible and read the following passages slowly and deliberately:
Proverbs 3:9,10, Malachi 3:8-11, Luke 6:38, 1 Cor. 16:1-2.
I have learned a valuable lesson in life that I want to pass on to you: "It is better to live on 90% of your income with God's blessing than to live on 100% of your income with God's curse." God not only does miracles for those who tithe, but He rebukes the devourer and we can live on less cause we actually will have more. I hope you learn what this means.
Also, God is more prone to answer the prayers of the tither, than the one who doesn't. I John 3:22 says, "And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we keep His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight." So tithe, it is a blessing that opens doors of blessings, it is not a curse or hardship.
3. How about a home-based business? Most women have an ability that could be turned into a profit. They can work out of their home. They can teach their children these skills while teaching their children business and financial responsibility also. This then prepares their children for life, for money is a necessary commodity for trade in our society.
When a mother works outside the home, the children receive no experience. When a mother works inside the home the child observes her industriousness and can be incorporated into the business, learning skills and valuable financial principles.
How sad to see so many teenagers today who begin to earn money at, say, sixteen years old, and by the time they are twenty they are deep in debt. How sad to see children and teens who earn money or are given money and they spend it. There is no discipline to save or tithe. This is because mom and dad have failed to teach their children fiscal responsibility.
A home based business can change that. Mom think, what do your children know right now about finances that you personally have taught them? Are they prepared, or being prepared for the rest of their lives when they will have to control money or be controlled by it? The truth will set anyone free, but money can put a person in slavery for the rest of their lives if they haven't learned how to control it.
The truth is the Bible! Although this is a booklet about New Testament womanhood, let's slip back to the Old Testament for a bit. Read Proverbs 31:10-31. Notice the word "household" is used four times in this text. This text establishes the principle of a home-based business. Notice especially verses 13, 16, 18, 24. Notice such statements as: "She works willingly with her hands." "She considers a field... buyeth it... plants a vineyard." "She perceives that her merchandise is good." "She makes fine linen and sells it." Why does she do all of this? Answer: "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." Verse 27. She hasn't left the home, she is watching out for it! Her home is the base for her business. She doesn't leave the home, but looks well to the ways of her household. They are included in her business and the next generation is trained.
One note of caution, a home-based business can become a great distraction to the wonderful things that could be done for God by a mother as described in Chapter 4. It may not be needed. Your husband's income may be plenty to live on and this would just keep you from doing something better or eternal with your time.
Ask your Lord, your husband, and your Pastor first before starting a home-based business. You don't want to make the mistake of teaching your children that money making is the most important thing in life. Don't miss motherhood for money!
Chapter 6 - Summing Up
I read with interest a poll of working mothers taken in 1993. They were asked many questions, but the one that interested me was this: "What is the greatest emotion you deal with as a working mother?" The answer was almost unanimous: "GUILT!"
From the Buffalo News, dated September 30, 1994, here is part of an article written by a lady named Marie Cocco, "It sprang from my 4-year old's mouth the other day, just after his errant behavior had been punished with a week long ban on eating sweets. "I'm going to take away privileges, Mommy," he shot back. "You're going to lose your going back-to-work privilege!" That is how Matthew views my return to work after six months of maternity leave: a privilege he'd like to wrest from me as punishment. In his defiant anger, he shot a guilt-tipped dart to my heart..."
Why the guilt among working mothers? I don't know, but my personal experience with guilt is that I only feel guilt when I am guilty. That's simple, but profound! If we don't do wrong we will not have guilt.
I have never met a "stay-at-home-mother" who has felt guilty about being a wife and a mother. She maybe feels "unfulfilled," if the world has been playing with her head, but not guilty.
Often a lady feels as though "just" being a wife and mother is a waste of a life. She feels unfulfilled. She feels as though she is not contributing. Because she is worldly minded, her sense of value is in dollars and cents, not in the praise of God. She measures her worth in tangible things like a paycheck rather than intangible things like faith, obedience, and the praise of God. Dear lady, money is the cheapest of all blessings! God has already declared that your price is far above rubies. Accept that by faith. Don't sacrifice the "far above rubies" value of a wife and mother for filthy lucre.
If you still think this subject of Christian mothers working outside the home is not an important matter, then meditate on the Words of our Lord in Matthew 5:19: "Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgement, with every secret thing, whether it be good or whether it be evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14.
"For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ; that everyone may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad." 2 Corinthians 5:10.
These are sobering thoughts, moms. Do right. Have a Biblical basis for everything you do, and don't do. You don't have to feel unfulfilled, God has already declared your price to be far above rubies.